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Hoosier United Methodist News Archives
| Hoosier United Methodist News |
May 2001 |
Time to cherish our elders
When I spoke to her she had such a sparkle in her eye and clearly a look of surprise. I thought for a moment my greeting may have been a bit too aggressive, catching her off guard. Then she reached for my face as if desiring that I come closer so she could whisper in my ear. I leaned toward her small and fragile frame, noting her smile. She gently brought my face closer. Then she kissed me twice! Now it was I who was caught off guard -- pleasantly so.
She had recently celebrated her 101st birthday -- the occasion for my seeking her out following the morning worship service in the small, rural Indiana community.
She kissed me, and something melted. I had never before been kissed by a 101 year old woman! Her name is Grace. How befitting. It was a special moment for me. Perhaps for her as well.
As long as I can remember, I have had a reverence and genuine respect for the elders of the community. My parents would not have it otherwise. Taught to address them always as "Ma'am" or "Sir", rise when they entered a room, offer a chair, or carry their packages. "Watch my behavior" in their presence. These little acts signaled how special and precious are these who have lived long. And of course, I would never address them by their first name! Even Grace who kissed me must be addressed, Mrs. Caylor.
This time of the year, especially, seems to be given to the young. Graduation and weddings will fill the calendar. Many churches will observe "Children's Day." Camps of every description will welcome children and youth throughout the summer months. And of course, children and young people will seem to be everywhere -- on the streets, in front yards, lounging in malls.
To be sure, society and church must better care for youth. However, in some ways we have become a youth oriented culture.
Yet there are others. Today we call them Senior Citizens. Actually our society is becoming older. The percentage of those in the population sixty years and older has increased dramatically. The projection for the future is even more telling, as life expectancy increases.
I'm not sure that either our church or society yet reverences our elders appropriately. Too often they are ignored, tolerated or "pushed" to the side. Even a casual observance reveals that many younger people today don't hold their elders in the high esteem of another day.
A recent visit to one of our United Methodist retirement communities caused me to reflect on the importance and value of the contributions of those now in their sunset years. Especially, moments with retired clergy had special meaning. They are too quickly forgotten.
Sometimes the present and the future are overemphasized, and the past too little valued. Experience has its rewards. Not every "new" idea is better, nor each "new" way of doing ministry more effective or even more relevant. Of course every age must seek its own place, but it can learn from the past and the wisdom of its elders.
There is need to more appropriately value those who have given so much and have asked for so little in return. Each of us can find some way to honor these who have been blessed with longevity.
Perhaps there is some retired pastor who made a significant difference in your faith journey; a note or card would bring a smile or tear. A grandparent or aunt, even a parent would welcome an unexpected call, a plant or an "I love you!"
You've noticed a neighbor who lives alone whose children perhaps live in another state, thereby making visits infrequent; or one recently widowed. An invitation to dinner, to accompany you to worship, or just a brief visit would be more appreciated than you realize.
"Younger" clergy might find some way to reach out to those "senior" or retired colleagues reminding them how valued are their contributions, ministries and presence.
We normally and naturally pamper our children. It's time we pampered our grandparents, great grandparents, and those elderly among us. "Make over" them as we do those cuddly little ones. Treat them special -- because they are!
In these bright spring days when children and young people are center stage, find some time for those who have been blessed with long life.
They'll probably say, "Oh don't make such a fuss over me!" But I'll bet deep down in their secret place, something will smile!
Last updated January 14, 2004