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Hoosier United Methodist News Archives
| Hoosier United Methodist News |
October 2001 |
Personal rebuilding after tragedy
Dear Readers:
Due to September's terrible events in New York City, Washington D.C. and Pennsylvania, we thought we would write to you, rather than answer a letter. We hope our thoughts are helpful to you.
Our whole nation has been plunged into a terrible state by these events. Our psyches, our souls can't take in all the pain; in response, we go numb. What we thought was permanent, peaceful, safe, has become temporary, vulnerable, scary.
We want to talk, here, about how to deal emotionally and spiritually with this catastrophe.
Typically, people react to great tragedies as they do their more personal ones. First comes shock and denial. "Oh, no, this cannot be!" Then comes bargaining. "Maybe this would not have happened if … . " Then comes sadness and anger. These are normal feelings. Let them come. Holding them back only makes things worse, prolonging the process. We are part of the fabric of humankind when catastrophe strikes. No one lives alone. So, cry, if you need to.
The anger is also important. There is much to be angry about. People have been used unwillingly to kill others for their own political evil in the name of religion. We know fear at a new level. Some want to respond with anger and vengeance.
Anger keeps us from giving up, not going on. It helps us rise from the ashes of despair so as to rebuild our lives.
After a while things begin to make sense. We put things in perspective. We have dealt with our pain enough so that we can let some of it go. We begin to make plans for the present and the future. We begin to learn spiritual lessons. We go on.
This is not an easy or quick process. It takes time and attention. In the midst of all this pain, we need each other. Spend time with those you love. Worship and pray. Don't isolate yourself. Talk about what you feel. Not talking makes it worse. Listen to others express their feelings. People also want to find something to do. Giving blood, donating money or working to help others may help you and others.
Bad times turn out to be times of change. We learn a lot. We grow. We become closer to others. We know more about what God wants from us. So, let us live with expectation, seeking newness of life for ourselves and our nation.
Ed and Susan Alley
Last updated on 01/14/2004Letters may be sent to the Alleys at the Kairos Center for the Family,
4337 Kessler Blvd. N. Drive, Indianapolis, Ind. 46228.