Does the 'welcome mat' apply to strangers?

Dear Ed & Susan:

I just read the last HUM. An article by Bill Schwein caught my attention, one line in particular. "I guess I looked like a visitor, so no one noticed or greeted me."

We have recently joined a United Methodist church and are very happy here. People were and are very welcoming of us, first as visitors and now as new members. It saddens me to think that some of our churches are not open to new people being in the congregation. Aren't we supposed to do that in the name of Christ? If so, why is this not happening?

Sad

Dear Sad,

Indeed it is part of our mission. The answer seems obvious. We have been told that we should be open to people because we may be entertaining angels, unaware. And of course our mission is to "go into all the world," which seems to also mean beginning within our own churches.

If we look to systems theory, we might find one clue. Some systems are what we call closed systems. That is, they have an incredibly difficult time letting new entities into their system. It's not a "rational" thing. We can know we "should" do something (not just let other people into our church family) and yet unconsciously just not notice that we need to be welcoming.

Also, a lot of people go to church to enjoy the music, profit from the sermon and see their friends. These are good people; and simply put, it just doesn't occur to them to befriend the stranger in their midst.

In the early days of Christendom, it was dangerous to profess Christ as Savior and Lord. Many saw that as a threat to the state and other religions. Early Christians had to hide the exciting news that new life is available to everyone in Christ. That must have been hard, to hide the Good News that had changed their lives so dramatically.

Now, for the most part, it seems very safe and secure to be in the church. In some ways, people think of it as being like a club of like-minded people. In our crowded society it is hard to know whom to trust. The stranger in our midst may mean us no harm. But if there is something different about him/her, we tend to cross to the other side to be with people we know.

Also, maybe people think it is not their job to befriend the stranger. Let the clergy do that. Let the official greeters do that. I don't want to be bothered with anyone I don't know. I've paid my pledge, now let those responsible be the friendly greeters.

Political correctness needs a word here. Maybe someone will be offended if I get friendly, especially if I tell them anything about what Christ means in my life. They might disagree with my perspective and ruin the whole encounter.

There may be as many reasons we are not "friendly" as there are people in any one congregation. Some are too busy. Some are burdened with their own issues. Some are shy. Some are lonely and don't know how to make contact with others. Some are in a hurry to get to dinner. What's everybody's business is nobody's business.

So, it means that those who have received much, who will make the time, who will make a special effort must do double duty in the friendship department. If Christ has lit a new light in your life, show it! There is Scripture to support that.

Sincerely,
Susan and Ed Alley

Letters may be sent to the Alleys at the Kairos Center for the Family, 4337 Kessler Blvd. N. Drive, Indianapolis, Ind. 46228.

Last updated on 01/14/2004

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Does the 'welcome mat' apply to strangers?

Dear Ed & Susan:

Sad

Dear Sad,

Sincerely, Susan and Ed Alley

Sincerely,
Susan and Ed Alley