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February 2004 |
Word from Bishop White
So much dances in my mind. Yet it is a recurring thought that predominates. The last time! The last time! The last time for this, the last time for that as I approach the remaining months before my retirement from the episcopacy and from "active" ministry.
It began in February 1954. Still in my teens, in a cold, darkened, cavernous sanctuary, I knelt alone, to talk it over with God. A Call to preach was what it was about. I was unfamiliar with the expression for nowhere in my dreams or planning was there consideration to be a "Preacher."
When the prayers and struggle were over, I arose, having said "yes," not having the faintest idea of next steps! But I was confident what I was about to embark upon was somehow and mysteriously of God. Fifty years ago! I have never questioned nor doubted the decision, only my worthiness of the task.
The last time. The finale. But it is not over yet. Much remains to be done. Much is still expected. So much anticipated.
Gathering with beloved clergy -- pastors, those in special ministry settings, the retired. To be pastor and colleague. A time of laughter and fellowship. To affirm common purpose. To preach Christ!!!
A time to be pastor, to offer the blessed sacrament. And shortly to impose ashes on the forehead and to repeat the reassuring words: "In Christ, your sins are forgiven!"
The last time! To gather with lay people, those who witness in so many places in so many ways. Generous and, yes, flexible, as required by Methodism's unique polity of itinerancy. Welcoming sometimes too frequently new pastors of differing gifts and strengths, some often believing the congregation must be shaped in his or her own image!
The last time! Preaching in congregations across the vast landscape of Indiana. In growing congregations with new and promising ministries. Gathering with the Faithful in small, rural congregations and in inner-city communities. And with those who face transitions requiring change, adjustments and sometimes overwhelming challenge.
The last time! I will be inspired and encouraged as hundreds of youth from across Indiana come together to explore the Calling of Ministry, and as others make preparation for Confirmation and Full Membership in the Church.
So many things for the last time. With Cabinets, seeking to discern the "right" pastor for the "right" ministry setting. Knowing in most that pastor, congregation and conference will have ministry enhanced. Sadly in others disappointment -- even anger. Frankly, there will be some personal relief to experience the latter for the last time!
A multiplicity of decisions yet to be made, some easy and simple, others difficult and complex. Still meetings to attend, some meetings whose fruit will be more meetings!
Retirement or vocational change brings these last-time experiences. But these are changes in life's chapters. Transitions. Moving to new and not-yet-experienced life offerings. It brings both melancholy and anticipation.
Yet there is profound gratitude that so many opportunities have been given over these fifty years beyond my planning and deserving. I only wish I have been as much of a blessing to others, as others have been to me!
I approach the coming months with greater intentionality and purpose. With a special sense of caring and commitment. To do it right, get it right, say it right -- for the last time -- as an active bishop of the Church and in the "effective" relationship of ministry.
I will continue to trust God with the future as I have in the past. There is no undue anxiety -- no sense of fearing the future. My favorite Psalm, 139, will continue to sustain me. As will the prayers of the people.
Perhaps I will sing more frequently one of my treasured old hymns. The words may take on even greater meaning -- or at least more special meaning. It will give me strength and hope -- and assurance.
"My times are in Thy hand:
My God, I wish them there;
My life, my friends, my soul, I leave
Entirely to Thy care.My times are in Thy hand,
Whatever they may be;
Pleasing or painful, dark or bright,
As best may seem to Thee.My times are in Thy hand;
Why should I doubt or fear?
My Father's hand will never cause
His child a needless tear.My times are in Thy hand;
I'll always trust in Thee;
And, after death, at Thy right hand
I shall for ever be."
Woodie W. White
Last updated on February 23, 2004