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Hoosier United Methodist News Archives
| Hoosier United Methodists together |
July/August 2004 |
Goshen couple overcomes obstacles to bring adopted girls home
By Kathy L. Gilbert, UMNS
The Rev. Mark Gough and his wife, Paula, have learned a lot about adoptions and orphanages in recent years. The couple, who live in Goshen, Ind., have adopted five children from Eastern Europe and are trying to bring home a sixth. They have seen a wide range of quality in orphanages in Russia and the Ukraine. Mark serves as pastor of First United Methodist Church in Goshen.
Carroline, twins Julienne and Lareesa, and Natalee and Alanna range in ages from 2 to 6. The Goughs are trying to adopt Carroline's older sister, Valentina. Each of the girls has had medical problems, Mark explains.
"Because of our age, we weren't offered the 'prime children,'" he said. Mark and Paula were in their late 40s when they started adopting about five years ago.
Alanna came from a very poor region of Russia, and at nine months of age weighed only 10 pounds. "Developmentally, she was at a 3-month-old level," Paula said. Experiences in other regions of Russia and the Ukraine have been better, Mark said, but the orphanages just don't have the money or supplies to care for the children adequately. That first orphanage in Russia was the worst, both agree.
"Each time we went to see Alanna, we were told to bring a diaper," Paula said. "I never understood it until I was finally able to see her room. It was horrifying." Alanna was kept in a wooden playpen with 15 other babies, none of whom had any diapers, Paula said. "The big ones were crawling on the little ones," she said. "There were maybe two caretakers, and it was a heartbreaking sight."
The doctors in Russia told the Goughs that Alanna probably wouldn't even survive the flight back to the United States. "We got her home to our doctors, they gave her a couple of rounds of antibiotics, and she hasn't been sick since," Mark said. "She is a beautiful little girl of almost six with blond curly hair."
Natalee came from an orphanage in the Ukraine and was born with a heart defect. Mark said they were told she would need open heart surgery. "When we got home, we took her to a cardiologist who told us she would not need surgery. She is doing fine."
Next, the Goughs fell in love with a set of twins, Julienne and Lareesa. The girls weighed four pounds at birth and are still suffering from some developmental issues. Carroline was adopted from Russia. "She had rickets because of the lack of calcium, but developmentally, she was pretty much on target," Paula said.
Five adopted girls bring new experiences to pastor's family |
| When the Goughs married in 1973, Paula told Mark she wanted a dozen
children. He thought she was kidding. Now 31 years later, they have nine
children and are hoping to bring the 10th one home to Indiana soon. The boys, Nathaniel, Gavin, Tyler and Joshua, are the Goughs' biological children. They range in age from 18 to 29. Carroline, twins Julienne and Lareesa, and Natalee and Alanna are the Goughs' adopted children, all from Eastern Europe. They range in age from 2 to 6. The Goughs are trying to adopt Carroline's older sister, Valentina.
|
While they were adopting Carroline, the Goughs learned she had an older sister living in another orphanage in Gubkin, Russia. "When we discovered Carroline had an older sister, she was 10, almost 11 at the time," Mark said. "We were a little apprehensive about trying to adopt her. We heard all the horror stories about adopting older children from Eastern Europe."
After spending a week with Valentina, Mark said they found her to be a girl who really wanted a family. "It has been the hardest year of our lives waiting, trying to get the paperwork right and raise the money to go back and bring her home," Mark said. They need another $8,000 to get Valentina, he said.
The first two adoptions, done through an agency, cost them around $22,000 each. "That's cheap," Mark said. The cost was low because they took children with health problems. He said some agencies charge as much as $50,000 for a healthy child. The Goughs found it cheaper and easier to adopt independently, and they did that with their next adoptions. "Doing it independently, we can do it for between $12,000 and $17,000." The family has second-mortgaged their houses, borrowed from Mark's pension program and used any other source available.
Mark said he doesn't know where the money will come from to adopt Valentina. "We have just been praying that God will open a door and help us out."
The Goughs are happy to share their experiences with others wanting to adopt. Their Web site www.thegoughfamily.com chronicles their lives with the five little girls who, Mark said, "are the joy of my life."
Kathy Gilbert is a United Methodist News Service news writer.
Last updated on July 09, 2004