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Hoosier United Methodist News Archives
| Hoosier United Methodists together |
October 2006 |
Couple feel quads, now one, are God's agenda for them
By Shari Wauzzinski
"The adaptation of going from zero to four was one of the biggest adjustments we made." |
Denise and Jeremy Benner of Reynolds, Ind. had four very special reasons to praise God Oct. 4.
Adyson Mae, Brenden Allen, Chandler Thomas and Dane Ross, the couple's quadruplets, celebrated their first birthday as their parents celebrated the power of prayer.
"This experience has opened my eyes. Now I know what God can do in prayer," Denise said.
The couple has traveled a long and often, unsure road to this birthday, including two lost single pregnancies and the loss of a set of twins.
"I remember thinking 'man, what do we have to do?' I asked God, 'when is it going to be our turn to be parents,'" Jeremy said.
Now, he says it is clear God has an agenda for Denise and him.
"Once I heard we were having quadruplets, I realized God wouldn't give us anything we couldn't handle," and with four active, healthy babies, there is a lot to handle.
Take feeding time for example. When the babies were first born they were eating for 60 to 90 minutes at a time, every four hours. This meant each parent was only sleeping for an hour at a time. Because of this, someone was at the house 24 hours a day for the first four months to help the family.
"The adaptation of going from zero to four was one of the biggest adjustments we made. Just figuring out how we were going to do it," Jeremy said.
Sleeping nights
Now that the quadruplets are sleeping through the night and becoming more self-reliant, the challenges have shifted.
"Their neediness has changed," Denise said. "Now that they're all walking and mobile, they're able to sit and play with each other, instead of constantly needing someone else to entertain them." Feeding times are easier too. The four highchairs are arranged in a half circle with Diane in the middle. As the children get older, everyday activities get easier.
Some challenges still remain such as the amount of baby supplies the family uses. On a typical day, the Benners go through four quarts of three different formulas, 25 to 30 diapers and two wash loads of baby clothes. Family, friends and neighbors have chipped in to help with this too.
When the quadruplets were first born a member from Reynolds United Methodist, the couple's church, held a diaper drive. Stylist Sharon Brooks spent a day giving haircuts in exchange for a package of diapers and was able to collect more than 3,000 diapers. The local newspaper held a county-wide baby shower for Denise and then delivered all of the donated items to the family's home. Large formula companies such as Enfamil and Similac donated formula, while Gerber, Beechnut and Nature's Goodness donated jars of baby food.
Time alone an issue
Aside from the practical challenges of raising four children, the time Denise and Jeremy spend alone with or without each other can be an issue. "It's hard for us to take time for ourselves. We have to make an effort though, even if it is over a hamburger at McDonalds," Jeremy said. Part of the challenge for Denise is the difficulty she has with leaving the babies, something she says is getting easier, "It's so hard, I've waited so long, I don't want to miss anything."
In just a year, the quadruplets have developed very different personalities. While the babies have the same eye color, the similarities stop there. Dane has become the ring leader of the group and just smiles whenever he does something wrong. Denise describes Chandler as "sweet and laid back," while Brenden is the mischievous one of the group.
Jeremy said, "If you take a toy from Brenden, he won't take it back, but he will get even. He'll come around later and take the toy."
Adyson, the only girl, has emerged as the drama queen who already has a tendency for sassiness. The dynamic among the four is very good. Sometimes Denise will walk into the dining room and two of the babies will be hiding under the tablecloth playing peek-a-boo with the other two. Regardless of what they're doing, if one starts to cry, the other three stop to see what's wrong.
As the babies get older and the steady routine of raising four children sets in, Denise and Jeremy realize their challenges from God are not solely within the confines of home. Denise believes she's been challenged to help other women in her situation. She says being able to speak from experience helps her to appreciate what the women are going through.
Challenges outside home
Jeremy also recognizes his challenges outside of home. He believes he has been challenged to set an example in the way he helps raise his family. He and Denise are part of a church group trying to reach out to the un-churched. "We raise the bar. If we can do it, they can do it," he said, referring to the challenge of getting the large family to church on Sunday and throughout the week.
The Benners say the amount of help they have received from everyone has been "phenomenal." This is why they are planning a community-wide celebration and birthday party in appreciation for everything people have done. The party is set for noon Oct. 8. Festivities will take place at the White County Fairgrounds. Everyone is invited. "No presents, just bring yourself," says Jeremy.
It has admittedly been a hard road for the couple and they do not anticipate raising quads will ever be easy, but the Benners are thankful for all that God has given them.
"With everything we've been through, for us to stick together as a family and as a couple, is an accomplishment. Everyday I walk in the door and there are four kids running to see me," Jeremy said.
Shari Wauzzinski serves as an intern to the Indiana Area United Methodist Communication team and a senior at Butler University.
Last updated on 25 Apr 2008